Thursday, October 7, 2010


The best part of waking up?

Anything other than hearing your toddler yell from downstairs, "this is a mess mommy, surprise!"

Oh, toddler surprises. So much fun.

I walk down the stairs, just waiting for it. I see this.


I walk through the living room, what the....?


Oh fuck (there's that word again). Nerds. No, not like us, the candy nerds. My toddler found the large box of nerds. Surprise, mommy! Jeesh.

I follow the path through the dining room.



Then I go around the corner.



Then I find him.


Sigh. Just...sigh.

I turn around, taking in the mess.


Nerds, everywhere.

I turn back around, I find a turd who is now rolling in the nerds.


Did I sigh yet?

Blair is officially a roller. Well, he did it once. That makes it offical in my book. Tummy to back, without much effort. With beauty & grace. He refused to do it again when I wanted to show the husband. He's also teething. After an hour of fussing & nothing working to soothe him, he finally went to sleep. Enough though he refused to take his paci, his brain still thought it was there while he slept. Watch the tongue.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Toy Wars.

We had our first toy feud. And I survived it. Amazing really.

We have here, the "cool" toy.


We have here, the "uncool" toy.


Blair was happily playing with his apple.


Then Jules saw said apple. He took it, looked at it, then handed Blair the uncool toy. Because, you know, that's an equal trade. Blair, for the most part, didn't care.


Until Jules taunted him with the apple, that is.


Then he wanted it. Plus, he's teething (yes, already) so the apple toy provided more chewing satisfaction. I had a nice talk with Jules, explained that they were baby toys & that he should let Blair keep the apple. He threw himself down, pouting.


And yes, he's wearing a Spiderman costume. Is that odd or something?

But everything turned out fine. And Blair got his apple back.


This was just a little glimpse of what I'm sure the future holds for me. I think I'll just get a cage & let them fight it all out.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Mess of the Day 9/21/10

You may find yourself asking, "why doesn't she blog more?!"

Well, this is why.

It also got all in the dining room. How, I don't know.


Blair seemed amused by the whole thing though.


You may be asking yourself, "does she just let her kids run amuck?" Yes, yes I do. And despite the messes, they are fantastic, silly kids.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Mess of the Day 9/16/10

So I've decided that I am going to try something.

What, you may ask?

Mess of the day.

What, again, you may ask?

Mess of the day.

It's really that simple.

Every. Day. Everyday. Something in the house is, well, a mess. To try using another word, destroyed. That's what I get for going to the bathroom. Or the kitchen. Or blinking.

So, when these messes occur, I'm going to try to capture them on film. Then share them. This will either amuse you to see the craziness I live in, make you feel normal because you sometimes blink around your kids, or make you think I'm a slob.

Todays mess occurred when I answered my phone. Cheese. Who knew cheese could be so evil? Jules loooove cheese. For a while, he wouldn't eat anything unless it involved cheese. I use to try to beg my kid to eat chicken nuggets or fries just to get him to ingest a meal without cheese. While he will eat other things, nothing beats cheese. His new favorite? Shredded cheese. Yeah, I know, I'm nuts for letting him have it. But, you know, I'm a push over. I was sitting with him, letting him eat some cheese, when my phone rang. By the time I picked it up from the other room & walked back in the living room to sit down, I looked at him & saw the cheese.


He dumped the entire bag of cheese onto the floor. Cheddar & something white, if you were curious. Target brand if you're really curious.

Of course, it didn't end there. He decided to lick it up. Because he's a dog.

What, you didn't know he was a dog? Where have you been?

This whole dog licking up cheese thing gave him a nice cheese goatee.


Speaking of dogs, you know the best thing ever to have around when you have a food mess?

A dog.


No, Jules didn't grow fur, that's Murphy. She's a fantastic food cleaner upper.

In other news, Blair officially hit a milestone today...grasping swinging around a toy.


Odd thing is, that's the same toy Jules first held on his own & swung around.

And they still like each other.


And quote of the day comes from Jules...because it's the only one who can talk & the only funny one.

I was talking to Blair, discussing the fact that he's being a chubby thing. I told him I thought he was growing boobs. Because, well, he kinda is. Jules corrected me though. He announced, "mommy, Blair gets boobs in his mouth."

Can you tell I breastfeed? Well, I do. I never even know Jules knew what "boobs" were. Learn something new everyday.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Jules is sick.

We went to the doctor tonight. After he waved to daddy as we drove off saying, "bye daddy, I'm going to the doctor!" we arrived at the doctor where a nurse asked, "Are you Superman?" & he corrected her with an obvious, sarcastic tone saying, "Nooo...I'm SICK!"

Then, I took this.

He was right, no medication. Just "wait & see." By that I think they mean wait for the bill & see my money go away.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

The bike.

Jules is, well, kinda pathetic. His new thing is seeing people out on the street on bikes & tell us, "Get my bike, I wanna go with my friends!" then when they go on down the street, he looks at us & ask, "wheres my friends going?"

This kid needs friends. But that's a whole other subject.

Anyway, Jules had been talking about a bike for a while. At Target, the best store on earth, I was wondering around when I happened upon the clearance section, where I found a kids Spiderman bike. I figured why not give it a shot?

At one point Jules wanted a ball. Remember how he is with balls, right? Well, he picked the bike over a ball, a shocking pick to me. More expensive, too. But we bought the bike, loaded it, then unloaded it. Put it together because that's what parents spend about 48% of their lives doing...putting toys together.

And soon enough we had a bike.


Wondering where Jules is?

You must not have children. Because if you did, you'd totally know where Jules was.


He's in the box it came in.

Did I mention he was in the box?


Well, he was. And when he got out of the box, he played with the box.


Then he got back in the box.


Then he played with the box more.


Then he took a Spiderman to play with the Spiderman on the bike.


Then he, you guess it, got back in the box.


He did get on the bike. Once.


But really, he was just all about the box. I have no idea what he was playing, but he was playing "what cha doing outta the house? Get back in da house! No, I'm outta the house!" with a Spiderman & Hamm the pig going back & forth. Hamm would not stay in the house. The same Hamm I mentioned in the previously linked to blog post about the ball.

He likes to push the bike around the house, but that's about it. And yes, I let my kid play with a bike in the house. I'm inappropriate like that.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


The good thing about your big brother being nice & willing to share his toys?


He's willing share his toys. And some of his toys are fucking weird looking if you're an infant.

Plus, you eventually realize it's not sharing as much as you are a prop or display unit.


What, you didn't know dinos were attracted to cow print diapers? Totally.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


Jules is convinced that as long as he can't see you, he's hiding. If he's laughing & talking, you still can't see him. There are many times Jules will just look at you randomly & blurt out, "Let's hide!" & run off to get anything...a washcloth will do. Again, as long as he can't see you the magic of hiding is that you can't see him. Of course it's not fun unless we play it up. So we get to look like idiots who can't see a kid hiding his face behind a piece of junk mail, while he cackles with pure delight, even asking us while he's hiding "wheres Jules?!" or answering with a laugh & saying "no" when we suggest a place he totally isn't at. Of course, sometimes he does better hiding than just behind a wash cloth.

"Let's hide!"


"Wheres Jules at?! Where'd he go?!



"Did you hear Jules?! Where is Jules at?!



"Well there you are! I couldn't find you!"


"hehehe...wheres Jules at mommy?!"

"Where did he go?! Where is Jules?!"

Basically, hide & seek around his house is more of an acting gig for the husband & I. And we're cool with that. And Jules? He believes in the magic.

Open for Business

This is Jules.


This is Blair.


This is the blog where I will chronicle their adventures, cute comments, & share the most embarrassing stories I can. I'm going to try not to say "fuck" as much in this blog as I do in my regular one. Key word...try.